Fear vs Trusting in the Lord

 Hello fam <3

    I wanted to take this time to thank you all for reading our blog and for supporting us (whether it be financial or through prayer). It has meant so much to us.  Words would not do justice to the gratitude we feel but I will try my best anyways.  Since we found out about Seung's diagnosis, my hope was that Seung would be covered in prayers day in and day out.  That when he or I would be too discouraged/tired/hurt to pray, that we would have an army of brothers and sisters who are interceding on our behalf.  And you guys have pulled through.  Seriously... we feel it. The amount of love we have received and are continuing to receive is mind-blowing and utterly humbling. As Seung's wife, I am filled with gratitude knowing that Seung is SO loved and that the people he has come into contact with throughout his life see him as important as I do. So, thank you. From the very bottom of my heart, thank you for loving my beloved Seung and for showing him how incredibly precious and special he is. <3 

    And as we approach Seung's second round of chemo, I continue to covet your prayers.  To be quite honest, going into this second round is a bit more nerve wracking and I find myself frozen in fear.  Seung's first treatment was a do-or-die sort of situation, but having seen the toll it took on Seung's body/mind the first time, it makes me a bit apprehensive knowing that he will have to do it again and again and again.  There have been days where it has felt normal, where Seung is playing with the kids and there is laughter again in the house.  Days where I forget, just for a second, that Seung is sick. And then there are days where I cannot seem to take my eyes off of Seung, in fear that I am losing precious seconds with him. Fear of losing Seung, fear of my kids losing their dad, fear of the unknown and the uncertain. In the quiet moments, when all the fear creeps in and it seems to choke out all of the gratitude from my heart, I am stuck between allowing the fear to overtake me or to trust knowing that our heavenly Father has a plan.  I lose sight of God's goodness and how He has brought us through in just this past month alone.  But then I am reminded that no matter how unfathomable it may seem, nothing is operating outside of His command or control. It's easy to fall into the pits of despair, to allow my mind to spiral out of control.  And yes, there are nights when the darkness seems endless, but God in his infinite love and mercy, has been pulling me out of the muck each and every day.  He has been renewing his mercies every morning.  Finding rest, knowing that God is in control, is a battle that ends in sweet, humbling surrender. 

A PRAISE REPORT!!

Today (6/18/23) on Father's day, we received some GREAT news! Seung has to get his bloodwork done 2 days before each chemo session so he went in yesterday and we received the results today.  HIS LAB WORK CAME BACK (mostly) ALL WITHIN NORMAL RANGE!! Before starting chemo, all of Seung's liver enzymes came back extremely elevated.  We would see such a drastic rise almost every day, but to see that his liver enzymes came back within NORMAL range or are decreasing, has been such a blessed surprise.  We know that we still have a LONG way to go, and I'm sure that we will have some bad days ahead, but we'll take EVERY win. I want to shout it from the rooftops: God is AMAZING!! Thank you for your prayers!!!!  -E

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