Trusting in a faithful God

2/8/25        Hello Fam <3       

It has been a minute since our last update. To be quite honest, it has been very emotionally taxing couple of months. We found out in December that most of Seung's tumors were starting to show growth. Then he developed an allergy to one of his chemo meds that lengthened his infusion from 90 minutes to 12 hours. And in the midst of everything, Seung got sick and it wiped him out for almost a month. New Years was especially difficult, as the feelings of disappointment and discontent ran rampant. The New Year didn't feel new or exciting... but hopeless as we continue to navigate this difficult journey of living with cancer. The daily grind of finding hope and courage in the midst of anxiety and fear... to find joy feels utterly impossible. But we do. We find pockets of joy watching our kids interact, engaging with our church family that has easily become as close if not closer than our actual family, and reading the Word together as a family every night. 

Seung had another routine CT scan on 2/3/25 and the results were not good. We are seeing some of his mets doubling within a short 2 month time and the mets on his lungs have not only doubled but are multiplying exponentially. And the hardest part of it all is watching Seung take it all in with stride. The side effects of chemo are horrid... and yet to watch Seung take it on... to fight to live another day with us is heartbreaking. And on top of it all, to hear that the meds aren't even doing their job is devastating. Seung recently reminded me that at the time of his diagnosis, his oncologist told him that without treatment, he would have 6 months... but even with treatment, the average is 30 months. He is now at 20 months of treatment. That fact alone is scary and discouraging, especially after seeing his current scans...

But we are seeing God working.. we can see his undeniable care and love for us each and every day. On 2/4/25, we had an appointment with the Clinical Trials department. We went into the appointment unsure of what was to be talked about since we had already had an appointment with the doctor a couple weeks prior. But as soon as the doctor arrived, she announced that she had an open and available trial for Seung. Us being new to the world of clinical trials, we didn't really understand the weight of what she was saying. If anything, I went into the appointment pretty skeptical and really hesitant to entertain the possibility of switching up Seung's treatment. But the more we spoke with the doctor, the more we could see God's hand on our situation. The doctor told us that she has no other colorectal clinical trials open and even if she did, they would have a really long waitlist due to the competition. But to have one available that targets Seung's specific mutation AND it to have a spot open is very rare. Everything leading up to the appointment and the news itself was too coincidental for it to be a coincidence. We left the appointment 70/30, leaning towards switching over to clinical trials but wanted to talk to Seung's oncologist the next day. And after a lengthy discussion about the current state of Seung's cancer, she was in agreement that it would be a good idea to switch over and have a plan in place for if 1. Seung did not meet the criteria to be a part of the clinical trial or 2. If the clinical trials did not end up working.  We signed the informed consent on Friday 2/7/25 and Seung will now be getting all of his preliminary testing done to make sure he qualifies. 

We are feeling rather hopeful and anxious. But God is undeniably in control and working everything out for us. So regardless of what the future might bring, we are choosing to trust. We ask that you continue to pray for our little family as we navigate yet another transition and for our hearts as we seek to place our trust in our God who is above natural law.. and bigger than any statistic. 

<3 E

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