Hello

Stage 4 Adenocarcinoma. Cancer. These are words that you never expect to hear at 36.  

May 17. That's the day we received the results of Seung's abdominal and pelvic CT. They had found masses in his rectum, liver and lungs. Seung hadn't been feeling well for a couple of months but starting April, his energy levels tanked and he started to lose weight at an alarming rate.  We thought that they were linked to starting a new call, having a newborn and moving homes. So we were floored when Seung's primary stated that it looked suspiciously like cancer.  Words cannot convey the devastation and anguish that we felt when we heard the news. And honestly, the first 2 days were the pits. Every time Seung would hold our 3rd or when he would be with the kids, I would find myself just thinking the worst: our kids are too young to have their daddy taken away, I can't raise the kids on my own, to will our baby O even remember how much his daddy loves him? But God is good. Since then, God has connected us with physicians, people who have gone through the same experiences, and a VAST number of brothers and sisters who have poured out their love immensely into Seung and our little family.  Seung is wrestling with the news that he has cancer, all the while having to comfort his very emotional wife. But he is finding much comfort in Psalm 118 and has made it his mantra for this journey.  -E


May 26, 2023 (UPDATE)

Today we met with Seung's oncologist. Prognosis was not good. We were finally able to see the actual scans of Seung's chest, abdominal and pelvic CTs. To be told that at this stage, there is no cure... only a prolonging of Seung's life. To know that Seung will be receiving the most aggressive treatment and even then (statistically) we're looking at an average of 30 months. This isn't the news you hope to hear. You hear about how each patient is different and each person responds differently, and yet the science tells you that there is no hope. To find the balance of being soberminded and facing the reality while still believing in a GREAT God who is limitless is... impossible. We find ourselves teetering back and forth.  We're hoping for a miracle, while submitting all things under Him. It sounds like an oxymoron. I find myself in disbelief even as I write this. How could Seung, my wonderfully funny, smart, kind, compassionate, loving, God-fearing man be given what seems like a death sentence. How does he go from a healthy young man to a man riddled in cancer? I have no words. I have no explanations. Only how. We hope and pray for a miracle. A miracle that we know that our Father is capable of showing and yet knowing that even if Seung were to go, we have hope of a better life in our Savior. Today was a sucky day, but tomorrow will bring with it a whole new set of mercies. I rest in that promise that God's mercies are new every morning and He promises to be with his people... Seung, myself, and the kids are not forsaken... we are held ever so delicately within our Father's hands.  -E


A couple of requests:

  • Please give us time and space to process and grieve.  We thank you for your prayers and support, but please understand that retelling what is happening is like re-living the painful moments over and over again.
  • Please be mindful of our children. The kiddos know that Daddy is sick and may even know that he has cancer, but they don't fully know what that means. Please interact with them as you would normally: vibrantly and full of life, not with pity or sadness. 
  • Some people have asked how they can help.  Our church has so graciously set up things to help us get through all of this. You can access our church website here or you can contact Simon (which is also on our church's website).


Prayer Requests: 

  1. Competent and compassionate Drs and nurses who will advocate for Seung and not see him as merely a number, but a very important person. Seung's next steps are to get a port placed before he can start chemo, and the schedule for that has not yet been confirmed. Please pray that we will be able to schedule and start his treatment within this next week.
  2. For our kids who will start public school for the very first time. (They have been homeschooled until now). For amazing teachers and fantastic friends. For a smooth transition (especially for the middle kiddo).
  3. For Esther to find moments of rest while she advocates for Seung and coordinates all of his care. For her to have peace in the midst of chaos and confusion and for her to have hope that transcends all understanding.

Thank you for loving us, near and far.  Please continue to pray for our little family, we desperately need and covet your prayers.

Popular posts from this blog

Trusting in a faithful God

2/8/25        Hello Fam <3        It has been a minute since our last update. To be quite honest, it has been very emotionally taxing couple of months. We found out in December that most of Seung's tumors were starting to show growth. Then he developed an allergy to one of his chemo meds that lengthened his infusion from 90 minutes to 12 hours. And in the midst of everything, Seung got sick and it wiped him out for almost a month. New Years was especially difficult, as the feelings of disappointment and discontent ran rampant. The New Year didn't feel new or exciting... but hopeless as we continue to navigate this difficult journey of living with cancer. The daily grind of finding hope and courage in the midst of anxiety and fear... to find joy feels utterly impossible. But we do. We find pockets of joy watching our kids interact, engaging with our church family that has easily become as close if not closer than our actual family, and reading t...
Read more

Learning to live faithfully in the midst of grief

 4/14/2025 Hello Fam <3 This will be the last public update to the blog.  My beloved Seung went to be with the Lord on 4/10/25.  So much has passed since our last update and I don't seem to have it in me to recount all of the things that have happened since then.  Seung fought valiantly and faithfully until the very end. He is no longer in any pain, is fully healed and is right where he belongs, in the arms of our Father.  We ask for continued prayers as we navigate what it means to live life faithfully in the midst of grief.  I apologize in advance if condolences aren't met with a response. None of this feels real.. it feels like Seung is on a trip and will be home any moment now. But then I find his glasses or his razor by the sink and it hits me that he is no longer here. The well wishes feel like a jarring reminder at times when I am living in the moment with the boys and the pain comes flooding back. But I thank you for thinking of us and praying fo...
Read more

Learning to Live Between Hope and Reality

Hello, this is Seung. It's been a while. Time really flies. I have received my 27th chemo session so far.  My last one was on October 28. My weight is at 166.4 pounds. I'm slowly gaining.  My CEA is dropping. It went up to 2561, but is now at 219. Back in May, I had a surgery (HAI pump placement) for the first time in my life. Now, two scars are very visible on my tummy. Thankfully, I have recovered from the surgery well (prayers answer!) I carry a pump and a port in my body now.  I still have neuropathy. It hasn't gotten better or worse. I'm losing hair again O is calling me "Baba" It's been so long that I have so many things on my mind. Surgery seems like a distant past, but that was only four months ago. I cannot believe where I am now. Thankfully, the new treatment (HAI) is working well for now. My liver functions have improved. My last CT scan in October showed the tumors on my liver decreased in size. That's great news! Yet, we also learned that ...
Read more